Freelance Writer and Social Worker

9 Pieces of Writing Advice I Wish I'd Never Heard

When you're considering a writing career, everyone wants to give you advice or tell you horror stories about the friend of a friend who tried to become a writer and ended up starving to death in her lonely apartment.

Aside from the scary stories (and I suspect they're told by the same people who like to regale first-time mums with tales of agonizing labor), I think most of what is said is well-intentioned. But is it accurate? Not always. There are a few pieces I wish I'd never heard. Here are some of my favorites.

1. Don't Quit Your Day Job

While it's true that you don't want to go rushing into the literary world without a plan, it's also true that if you want to live as a writer, you're going to have to make the plunge someday. Don't spend precious time waiting for the exact minute when all the stars are aligned and the wind is coming from the right direction. If you must follow some advice, why not make it the advice from the Broadway musical, Wicked? Just close your eyes...and leap!

2. Write What You Know

Do you know that Edgar Rice Burroughs, the creator of the Tarzan stories, never once set foot in Africa? For that matter, it's a pretty sure bet that he never went to Mars, either. And J.K. Rowling certainly didn't visit Hogwarts before her writing brought it into existence. Writing only what you know is dull. Write what you're passionate about and what you're eager to learn. Write the story you must tell. Everything else will work itself out.

3. Don't Tell Anyone About Your Project

It's true that some writers spend so much time telling others about their work that they never put pen to paper (or fingers to keyboard) and create anything. But as long as you're writing, don't be shy about letting others know about your project. You never know when someone else may help you come up with the perfect plot twist or provide information on a subject you don't know much about.

My First Paid Assignment

Do you remember the first time you were paid for something you'd written?

I do. I was in high school at the time, and my imagination blazed with dreams of being a best-selling writer. Unfortunately, typing out reams of admittedly horrible stories on my mother's IBM Selectric earned me nothing but a bunch of rejection slips.

When I wasn't writing, I escaped into the soap opera, Guiding Light (now off the air). I knew every storyline, every character, and every actor who had ever played that character. I even sent some of the actors birthday cards which, in retrospect, I doubt they appreciated.

I also got very good at spotting bloopers, both the obvious kind that daytime drama has always perpetrated (kid goes up to bed at age 7, comes down to breakfast at age 17) and the unintentional kind (an actress wearing different clothes at different times in a scene). I started to type up my observations and send them to a few soap opera publications that published bloopers columns.

What Are Your Character's Guilty Pleasures?

Have you ever been a fan of something so off the wall or out of keeping with your personality that you've almost been embarrassed to admit it? If so, you're not alone. Everyone has a list of what they consider "guilty pleasures." Even fictional characters, if they are well-rounded, have a few interests or traits that don't fit in with the way they usually interact in the world.

Maybe your tough-as-nails-eats-bad-guys-for-breakfast hero is completely smitten by his toy poodle, or maybe your no-nonsense heroine likes to run a hot bubble bath and read steamy novels. If you can find a trait like this in your character, it is a great way to make him or her more complex and ambiguous. Readers will follow an interesting leading man or woman to the ends of the earth. A two-dimensional one won't hold them through the end of the first chapter.

When I'm trying to come up with a quirk for one of my characters, I usually go back to some of my own weird pursuits. In the interests of science, then, here are some of my guilty pleasures:

1. Johanna Lindsey. Why would an extremely cynical lesbian enjoy Lindsey's sweeping heterosexual romance sagas? Beats me. Perhaps it's because Lindsey writes smart, funny characters and puts them in situations where they can and do get quickly get up to their ears in trouble. When I'm in a bad mood, I can always count on her for a fast, fun read with a happily ever after lurking at the end.

2. Office Supplies. I don't know whether it's a writer thing or my own personal quirk, but I cannot walk past an attractive notebook or crisp yellow legal pad without wanting to give it a home. By my current calculations, if I never bought another piece of paper, I could still sustain my writing career at least another 50 years. I'd tell you more, but there's this really cute notebook with stars on it calling my name...

3. Judge Judy. Honestly, I can't say that I'd want her as a friend, but I do like watching her demolish miscreants in her courtroom. She actually gets to say the things that I, and many other social workers I know, have been thinking for years. Beyond that, her self-confidence and her ability to see the world in black and white fascinate me. She is the polar opposite of my own personality, and I think it's a human trait to be drawn to those we do not understand.

4. Las Vegas. I love the blackjack tables, the video poker machines, the noise, the lights, the shopping, the food and the unapologetic atmosphere of excess. It's where I go for a few days when my brain is fried and I really want to get away from everything "normal."

5. Chocolate. I had weight loss surgery back in February, so chocolate is not supposed to be on my menu, but I've been able to "fudge" (excuse the pun) here and there. My protein bars and nutritional shakes are both chocolate flavored, and I've also found a Jell-O sugar-free chocolate mousse that tastes pretty good. No, it's not as fun as scarfing down a bag of Hershey's bars, but it's better than nothing.

So, tell me about your fiction writing? What are the things your character hides from other people? What are your own guilty pleasures? 

NaNoWriMo Update

This Saturday, I attended one of Kansas City's National Novel Writing Month kickoffs. I was amazed by how many people showed up and by how many people had "won" (written their 50,000 words) NaNo in the past.

Thost "in the know" were very patient with us newbies and offered some great advice. Some of my favorite tips included:

• Start early. Write fast. Write often
• Don't get discouraged if you're behind the eight-ball. Magic happens on November 30.
• On the other hand, don't get complacent if you're ahead of schedule. Leads can vanish quickly.
• Don't delete anything you write, even if you're sure you'll want to edit it out later. As long as you've got it on paper, it can help you reach your word count total.

I'm looking forward to starting my novel, The Ghost of George Boleyn, on November 1.