Freelance Writer and Social Worker

How to Get Your Novel Off on the WRONG Foot

The good news for writers is that Amazon Kindle and similar platforms allow them to get their books directly to readers. No longer does a writer have to search frantically for an agent and wait to get the nod from one of a handful of major publishing houses.

The bad news is that many self-published novels are not edited, proofread, or scrutinized in any critical way before being offered to the general population. And believe me, some of the novels that show up on Kindle can be described in one word: horrible.

Many others, however, fall into a gray area. They're not really that bad. The characters are solid. The plot has possibilities. The writing is okay. They just contain a few too many rookie mistakes. Most of these mistakes become obvious in the first few pages. Readers who encounter them usually move on to something else. A few of the cranky ones may leave bad reviews. 

If you've published a novel that isn't doing as well as you'd hoped, give it another look to make sure it doesn't contain any of the following mistakes.

7 Healthy Activities That Won't Take Five Minutes of Your Time

Ah, yes, the glamorous life of the freelance writer. It you have a day job, like me, you stumble out of bed at the crack of dawn. Looking like something that escaped from Tales from the Crypt, you try to jolt yourself awake with caffeine while you commit a few hundred immortal (you hope) words to paper.

Eight and a half hours later, having spent your lunch break writing a query letter, you walk in the door, plop yourself down in front of your computer, and write until your eyes won't stay open another minute. The next day, you do it all over again.

This may be a productive lifestyle, but it's hardly a healthy one. However, all is not lost. There are several health-promoting activities you can engage in that won't take even five minutes of your valuable time.

Drink a glass of water. The average adult needs about eight glasses - or 64 ounces - of water each day. Staying hydrated will keep your joints loose, promote heart health, and help you stay alert and mentally sharp. 

Writing with Mania

During my struggles with bipolar disorder, my main challenge has been depression. I've found dozens of ways to force myself to write when I'm crying, stuck in the depths of despair, and even suicidal. 

Mania presents a whole new set of challenges. My thoughts whiz by in no discernible order. Sitting still to capture any of them is next to impossible. I'm cranky and anxious and I think everything I write sounds like crap.

But the work still has to be done, so I've developed a few techniques to help me write even in the throes of mania. If you deal with these issues, too, I hope you find these tips helpful.

Stay in Touch with Your Doctor or Psychiatrist

If you're manic, your medications probably need adjustment. Your doctor may want to changes the dosages or even try a different medicine altogether. Remember that new medications often take a few weeks to reach their full therapeutic effect. Don't give up on them too soon.

Coping with a Bad Review

"Writers fall into two groups: Those who bleed copiously and visibly at any bad review and those who bleed copiously and secretly at any bad review." - Isaac Asimov

Asimov is right. Bad reviews hurt. Even the ridiculous hatchet jobs with half the words misspelled. Even the reviews that totally miss the point of your story. Even those that try to be kind. They are all attacks on little pieces of your soul, and they all draw blood. 

So, how do you cope with bad reviews? Here are some ideas:

Resign yourself to them. Any time you put a piece of your work out in the world to be judged, someone is bound to find it lacking. Sometimes the reasons are solid; sometimes they're idiotic. But the naysayers will exist and they sometimes insist on voicing their opinions in the most obnoxious terms possible. Sometimes the best way to deal with this kind of criticism is just to expect it and accept it. Edward Albee, for instance, became so used to harsh criticism that he once quipped, "The only time I'll get good reviews is if I kill myself."