My Gastric Sleeve

The Power of "No!"

As I've mentioned before, I'm seeing a therapist to help me resolve some of my issues around eating and weight.

During my last appointment, she asked me if I would be interested in changing my appointment times to earlier in the day.

I didn't want to hurt her feelings or inconvenience her, but the time she suggested really wasn't convenient. I stumbled around, trying to explain why it wouldn't work.

Finally, mercifully, she stopped me. "It doesn't sound like you want to change your appointment time at all," she said.

I nodded that this was true.

Her next words floored me, "Deb, you don't have to make excuses or explain what you need. It's fine to just say, 'I don't want that.'"

"I don't want that." I repeated the words softly, then a little louder. Saying them felt a hundred times better than the mealy-mouthed excuses I'd been trying to give.

The Therapist Who Treats Herself...

After another week of struggling to keep myself away from chocolate, I decided to take my bariatric surgeon's advice and see a therapist who specializes in eating disorders.

I honestly felt a little stupid that I couldn't seem to work this issue out on my own, but as a friend bluntly reminded me, "The counselor who treats herself has a fool for a client."

Anyway, I've been to two therapy appointments. The therapist I'm working with is very intuitive and able to read (correctly) into what I'm not saying, but she's also very sensible and down-to-earth when it comes to problem-solving. That's a perfect combination for me.

5 Things I Wish I'd Known Before My Gastric Sleeve

 
First of all, if you're considering weight loss surgery, don't let this post discourage you. I don't for one moment regret having a gastric sleeve. I'm slimmer and healthier right now than I have been in more than a decade, and it's a great feeling.

I hope, however, that this post does inform you. In spite of my surgeon's best efforts, I was somewhat naive when I had my procedure. If I could go back and have a talk with my pre-surgery self, there are a few things I would like to tell her.

First Day Back at Work on Full Duty

 
I over ate last night for the first time since my surgery. My indulgence? Nothing sweet or decadent, I'm afraid. I tried to eat a can of tuna. I could tell I was getting full, but I only had a couple of spoonfuls left to go, and I hated to waste them, so I forced myself to take those last few bites.

In less than five minutes, I knew I'd made a bad mistake. My stomach throbbed. My mouth and eyes watered, and my nose ran. I thought I was going to be sick. Clutching my abdomen, I rocked back and forth in sheer misery. It took about 20 minutes for the pain to start to abate.

I may be a little slow sometimes, but I'm not flat-out dumb. Next time, the cats get the left over tuna.

Why I Don't Own Scales

 
I worked a long day yesterday, completely exhausted myself, and ended up taking today off from work to recoup. When I go back to full duty next week, I am going to have to learn to pace myself so that I don't keep hitting the wall. Unfortunately, moderation does not seem to be a word in my vocabulary. This business of learning to eat small amounts very, very slowly is a real challenge, since before surgery, my modus operandi was to wolf down a huge meal in front of the television and then get to work on my writing projects. But I guess the good news is, I am learning. It takes time to change any habit.

My New Favorite Foods after Gastric Sleeve Surgery

 
I got a lot of rest this weekend and went to work today in far better shape than I was last week. It still irks me that I have to take things so much slower than I'm used to, but I've learned the hard way that if I push myself too far, I end up not being able to do anything except sleep.

Speaking of getting used to thing, I'm also getting used to the new way I have to eat. I'm still restricted to a soft-food diet. It amazes me that I, who used to be able to wolf down huge meals in a matter of minutes, can barely get through a container of applesauce now without feeling uncomfortably full.

Doing Too Much Too Soon - Gastric Sleeve Recovery

 
I had a good day at work on Monday, and got a lot of things done. Sure, I crashed for two hours when I got home, but I was ready to go again on Tuesday...or so I thought.

The morning was okay. We had an interdisciplinary group meeting to discuss patient care, and it was good to catch up on all the news from my caseload. After the meeting was over, I went back to my desk and started doing paperwork again. I didn't do anything really taxing, but the way our office is set up requires a short walk to get to the copiers and fax machines.

Still, I thought I was okay until about 11:30. Then my incisions started to hurt and I started to feel a little short of breath. I thought maybe I was feeling strange because I hadn't eaten much. As my bariatric surgeon's nurse explained to me, one of the problems with this procedure is that people lose the impulse to eat and drink, and sometimes they forget to take in enough protein and stay hydrated.

First Day Back at Work Post Gastric Sleeve

 
I went back to work at my hospice job today for the first time since my surgery. I was on "light duty," so I couldn't go see patients, but I got a lot of work done in the office.

Two or three of my co-workers, people who hadn't known about the surgery, came up to me to ask me if I'd lost weight. That really made me feel good.