Now imagine the worst day you've ever had, a day when you felt sad and lonely and discouraged. A day when getting out of bed seemed like a Herculean task and you had to force yourself through the motions of getting through the day. Now, multiply that feeling by 100. Unless you've been there, that's probably the closest you can come to understanding a depressive episode.
Although I was not officially diagnosed with bipolar disorder until I was in my thirties, I've been living with it ever since I was a teenager.
On most days, you'd never guess there was anything "wrong" with me. I'm calm, even-tempered, and I love working at my freelance writing business. I can't ever let myself forget, though, that the mania and depression lie in wait, counting on me to make a mistake that will release them.
In some ways, being bipolar is kind of like driving down a road. You're going along just fine when all of a sudden your tires hit an icy patch and send you flying into a skid. With not even a second's notice, you're fighting for your very survival.
Only when the car comes to a shuddering stop are you able to get out and assess the damage--like thousands of dollars in credit card charges or a visit to the hospital emergency room after an overdose.
But the picture is not all bleak. As long as you can keep that car on the road, you can go for days, months, even years without a serious episode of mania or depression.
How do you control that car? These suggestions have helped me.
Continue reading "Living and Writing with Bipolar Disorder - Staying on the Road" »