Freelance Writer and Social Worker

What Being Called a Bitch Taught Me about Freelance Writing

My first social work position was in a hospital emergency room where I sometimes had to be very firm with drunk or drugged patients who were acting out. I had all the training I needed to do the job, but I wasn't ready for clients to call me names, scream obscenities at me, or throw half-full urinals at my head.

After a few weeks of this, I went to my supervisor in tears and told her I couldn't take it anymore.

She then told me something I've never forgotten: "You know," she said, "given the clients you work with, if you don't get called a bitch at least once a shift, you're probably not doing your job right."

What an eye-opening concept. I returned to the emergency room with a whole new mindset. Each time a client cursed me out, I held my ground and reminded myself that the verbal assault was an affirmation that I was, indeed, doing my job.

Eventually, I developed a greater comfort level with my clients, as well as a thicker skin. I even started to joke with some of our regular patients, whom we called "frequent flyers."

"Why don't you call me a puta (prostitute) anymore?" I asked one of our Mexican patients who was wide awake despite having a blood-alcohol level that should have been lethal.

He clapped a hand on my shoulder. "Is no fun now that you don't cry no more."

"Come on, call me a name for old time's sake. I haven't met my nightly quota."

He gave me an odd look and muttered something that ended in "loco."

My Favorite Freelance Writing Posts

Isn't it a shame that when you write a blog some of your best posts slip away into obscurity. (Then, of course, there are the posts that truly should slip away into obscurity, but that's a different story.)

Anyway, this week I was feeling a little nostalgic, and maybe a little lazy as well, and decided to rerun some of my favorite posts from the last year or so. If you missed the originals, I hope you'll find something amusing or something informative in these selections.

1. 25 Strategies for Smashing Through Writer's Block. No, I'm not going to take the time to argue about whether there is any such thing as writer's block. Whatever we want to call it, most of us have had times when we're simply stuck, and these tips can help.

2. Freelance Writers: 7 Tips for Caring for Your Hands, Wrists, and Arms. We may not be professional athletes, but we still rely on our bodies to make a living. If you aren't already, start treating those hands with kid gloves.

3. Dear Debra - A Letter to My Sixteen Year Old Self. My personal favorite blog posts. I just wish someone really had been around when I was 16 to give me that advice!

What to Do If You Set a Goal...and Fail

It seems like half of the articles I read these days sing the praises of setting goals. The other half talk about how thrilling it is to achieve a goal.

But what if the opposite happens? What if I set a goal and don't achieve it? What if I fail?

Well, I know from personal experience that the stars don't suddenly fall from the sky, nor am I instantly surrounded by a chorus of creepy kids chanting, "Na-na-na-na-na, You-didn't-make-it!"

In fact, as long as I haven't missed a hard deadline, the only one who knows I've failed is me. And I'm not generally dumb enough to put it on the 6:00 news.

I do, however, ask myself a few questions to try to figure out what happened and how I can get back on track.

Was My Goal a SMART Goal?

SMART stands for specific, measurable, attainable, realistic, and time-limited.

I've noticed I have a nasty habit of setting goals that aren't realistic unless I evolve another brain, at least two more sets of arms, and the ability to type about 1000 words per minute (hey, it could happen).

If my goal doesn't pass the SMART test, I work on it until it does. Then I try again.

7 Benefits of Setting Goals

A popular quote among the self-improvement crowd, typically attributed to Zig Ziglar states that if you aim for nothing, you'll hit it every time.

Most people can see the wisdom in this, but many still put off setting goals and memorializing them in writing. "I know what I want," the say, "so why bother with all that goal-setting crap?"

I know what they say, because I used to be one of the people saying it. But since I've become a fulltime freelance writer and editor, I've found myself being won over by the whole idea of setting specific, measurable, action-oriented, reachable, and time-limited (SMART) goals.

Goal-setting has several advantages.

1. It separates your intentions from your wishes and dreams.

T.E. Lawrence, better known as Lawrence of Arabia, one said, "All men dream, but not equally." We all have things that we'd kind of like to do, but not badly enough to work to make them happen. Then, there are those dreams we would do anything to make come true. You can make these dreams your goals--your intentions--and figure out the steps you need to take to make them come true.

2. Goal-setting gives you an end point.

If you've ever been on a road trip with a small child, you know that the four most annoying words in the English language are, "Are we there yet?" When we don't set specific goals, we put ourselves in the same position as a bored, travel-weary child. We don't know when we're getting close to our destination, and we don't know when we've reached it. Suppose, for instance, your goal is to reduce your weight. Would you be "there" if you lost half a pound? Probably not. "I will weigh 135 pounds by March 31, 2012," lets you know exactly where you're going and how close you are to getting there.

New Year's Plans

I made my last New Year's Resolution about ten years ago. It was a resolution to stop making New Year's Resolutions, and it was the only one I ever kept.

Now I prefer to say that I make New Year's plans, which means I sit down and think about what I want to bring into my life--and sometimes expel from my life--during the coming year. This year, I have ten New Year's plans, and since many of them involve my writing career, I thought it would be appropriate to share them on this blog.

1. Trust My Instincts

Every time I've run into a problem in my personal life or my work life, it's been because I ignored my gut instincts and went with "logic" instead. Years ago, one of my psychology professors gave his class this bit of advice: Statistically, women answer more questions correctly on an exam if they stick with the first answer that pops into their minds. Men, on the other hand, do better if they go back and change answers when they have second thoughts. My goal this year is to trust my hunches more than my self doubts.

2. Believe in My Ability to Achieve

Zig Ziglar once said, "If you aim at nothing, you're sure to hit it every time." This year, I plan to set goals that challenge me to step outside my comfort zone and shoot for the stars.

3. Laugh More

It's easy to take life far too seriously for one's own good. This year I plan to find something that makes me laugh every day.

My First Paid Assignment

Do you remember the first time you were paid for something you'd written?

I do. I was in high school at the time, and my imagination blazed with dreams of being a best-selling writer. Unfortunately, typing out reams of admittedly horrible stories on my mother's IBM Selectric earned me nothing but a bunch of rejection slips.

When I wasn't writing, I escaped into the soap opera, Guiding Light (now off the air). I knew every storyline, every character, and every actor who had ever played that character. I even sent some of the actors birthday cards which, in retrospect, I doubt they appreciated.

I also got very good at spotting bloopers, both the obvious kind that daytime drama has always perpetrated (kid goes up to bed at age 7, comes down to breakfast at age 17) and the unintentional kind (an actress wearing different clothes at different times in a scene). I started to type up my observations and send them to a few soap opera publications that published bloopers columns.

Out of My Comfort Zone and Loving It

Have you ever heard of NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month)? It lasts from 12:01 AM on November 1 to 11:59 PM on November 30. Within that thirty day bracket, your goal is to crank out at least 50,000 words of a novel. It doesn't have to be a great novel. It doesn't even have to be good. Every NaNoWriMo writer I've ever talked to admitted that parts of their manuscripts, often large parts, sucked eggs. The idea is to connect with other writers, enjoy the sheer madness of creation under a tight deadline, and, perhaps, walk away with a the kernel of a novel that will actually sell someday.

I've known about NaNoWriMo for years. I've even made a couple of half-hearted, secretive attempts to reach the 50,000 word goal. Needless to say, I fell way short. This year, though, I'm doing it right. I went to the official NaNoWriMo website and officially signed up, the literary equivalent of throwing my hat into the ring.

Book Review: Goal Setting for Writers by Regan Black

As I've expanded my writing and editing business from part-time to full-time, I've read everything I can get my hands on about goal setting, time management, small businesses in general, and the freelance writing business in particular.

I was skimming through the offerings on Kindle one day when I came across Regan Black's Goal Setting for Writers: Making Revisions Work in Life and Art. The ebook only cost $2.99 - the book is not available in print - and I had read some of Black's fiction which I enjoyed very much, so I decided it was worth the price.

I'm glad I did, because Black has a lot of experience and wisdom to offer writers.