Freelance Writer and Social Worker

5 Excuses Writers Can Use to Turn Down Problem Assignments (Or, You Want Me To Write WHAT?)

It's really, really hard to turn down gigs in this economy, but sometimes it's the only way to keep your sanity and your self-respect intact. In the last year, for instance, I've refused to edit a business letter that was filled with profanity, racial slurs, and thinly veiled threats of violence. I also declined the once-in-a-lifetime chance to work on a homophobic rant that would have made Fred Phelps look tolerant, as well as the chance to ghost write a book for a pedophile about how to groom victims. Finally, I ditched a client who was increasing my blood pressure but not my bank account.

Of course, they weren't all that bad. Sometimes I didn't take a job because I knew less than nothing about the topic, and the pay being offered didn't inspire me to learn. Other times the client was rude and demanding during our first contact, and I figured that if I took him or her own as a client, things would only get worse.

So, once you've decided you're not going to work with a client, how do you communicate the decision to him or to her? Depending on the situation, I use five all-purpose excuses.

1. "I'm booked for the foreseeable future."

This is the one I use on clients whom I find mildly annoying, but whom I might be willing to work with at some point. I usually follow up the "I'm booked" message by adding, I know you'll find another great writer, but if my schedule clears, I can send you an email and see if you're still interested in my services." In other words, I leave the door about half open.

2. "I'm afraid I don't know anything about..."

I usually save this one for projects that just don't interest me, especially the ones that do not pay well. Again, I leave a foot in the door by saying something like, "I'd love to hear from you again if you have work in the areas of..."

Getting Stuck on Your Writing Projects? Try Taking a Break!

Have you come across a problem with plotting or writing one of your articles that you just can't seem to resolve? Are you determined to power through it, no matter what? That may not be such a good idea.

Instead, it's a better idea to take a break. Here's why:

1. Your brain can be overtaxed, just like a muscle. When you lift weights at the gym, what do you do when your muscles start to get tired? Do you pile on more weights and force yourself to keep going, or do you take a break, switch to a different type of exercise, and allow the tired muscles a chance to rest and rejuvenate? Your brain is a little like those tired muscles. The more you try to force it beyond its capacity, the weaker it will become and the less effective you'll be as a writer. Give your mind a little R & R when you first start to feel fatigued, and you'll soon be able to return to your project with new enthusiasm and ideas.

2. Shifting perspective is a great way to come up with answers. I love to work jigsaw puzzles. Sometimes, though, I get disgusted when I can't figure out where a particular piece fits. I've learned long ago that the harder I look, the less success I'll have. My best bet is to walk away, focus my attention on something else like reading a book or working a logic puzzle, and return to the jigsaw in about thirty minutes. Nine times out of ten, I immediately find a place for the troublesome piece. The same is true with writing. If I give myself permission to walk away and work on something else when I get stuck, I almost always come back to the troublesome project with a new batch of workable solutions.

My Favorite Freelance Writing Posts

Isn't it a shame that when you write a blog some of your best posts slip away into obscurity. (Then, of course, there are the posts that truly should slip away into obscurity, but that's a different story.)

Anyway, this week I was feeling a little nostalgic, and maybe a little lazy as well, and decided to rerun some of my favorite posts from the last year or so. If you missed the originals, I hope you'll find something amusing or something informative in these selections.

1. 25 Strategies for Smashing Through Writer's Block. No, I'm not going to take the time to argue about whether there is any such thing as writer's block. Whatever we want to call it, most of us have had times when we're simply stuck, and these tips can help.

2. Freelance Writers: 7 Tips for Caring for Your Hands, Wrists, and Arms. We may not be professional athletes, but we still rely on our bodies to make a living. If you aren't already, start treating those hands with kid gloves.

3. Dear Debra - A Letter to My Sixteen Year Old Self. My personal favorite blog posts. I just wish someone really had been around when I was 16 to give me that advice!

What Do People Say When You Come Out as a Writer?

Parties just aren't my thing. If you looked up the word "introvert" in a dictionary, you'd probably find it illustrated with my picture. I've discovered that going to parties and networking events is even harder when you're a writer.

When I was a social worker, I could get through the "So, what do you do?" exchange with a minimum of fuss. Most people aren't that interested in social workers.

Now, however, I have to tell people I'm a writer, and that elicits all kinds of comments--some of them rude, some funny, and some so far off base I have to bite my tongue to keep from laughing. Here are a few of my favorite examples.

1. HAVE YOU WRITTEN ANYTHING I'VE READ?

What I'd like to say: If you have to ask, probably not.

What I say instead: I do quite a bit of producing blogs and other web copy, and I ghostwrite a lot. You've probably come across my work somewhere without even realizing it.

2. HOW MUCH MONEY DO YOU MAKE?

What I'd like to say: None of your damn business.

What I say instead: Oh it varies so much from month to month I couldn't even give you a ballpark figure.

3. YOU'RE SO LUCKY. I'VE ALWAYS WANTED TO BE A WRITER.

What I'd like to say: Then sit your butt down in a chair and start writing.

What I say instead: Actually, luck doesn't have a whole lot to do with it. I've worked and practiced really hard to get where I am.

25 Quotes to Cheer You Up After Your Writing is Rejected

I consider myself a good writer--not eye-poppingly great, mind you, but good enough so that I probably won't find myself immortalized in any slush pile horror stories. But good or not, I still get rejected. A lot.

And it still hurts. A lot. Yes, I know that it's all part of the business and that if you want to survive you have to grow a skin thicker than rhinoceros hide. Normally, I'm pretty good at sloughing off harsh words.

Some days, though, when I'm really struggling, it helps to go back and read what others have said about being rejected in the arts and in life in general. I hope you find these words as much as a pick-me-up as I do.

1. "Don't let anyone, or any rejection, keep you from what you want." - Ashley Tisdale

2. "I could write an entertaining novel about rejection slips, but I fear it would be overly long." - Louise Brown

3. "I really wish I was less of a thinking man and more of a fool not afraid of rejection." - Billy Joel.

4. "I submit all my plays to the National Theatre for rejection. To assure myself I am seeing clearly." - Howard Barker

5. "I don't want anyone who doesn't want me." - Oprah Winfrey

6. "I take rejection as someone blowing a bugle in my ear to wake me up and get going, rather than retreat." - Sylvester Stallone

7. "I think a hero is an ordinary individual who finds strength to persevere and endure in spite of overwhelming obstacles." - Christopher Reeve

11 Tips for Conducting a Terrific Phone Interview

This year, I've started writing a few articles for magazines and journals. I got lucky on the first few--the editors were perfectly happy with emailed questions and answers. Then came the day when an editor requested I call a source and interview her.

Great, I thought. Now what? Somehow I had survived more than eleven years in the writing business with only rare phone contact with my sources.

I was sure I was going to make a complete ass of myself, but I didn't. Furthermore, the editor was right. The quotes I got from that phone call were far better than anything I could have pulled from a politely-worded email.

Since then, I've done many phone interviews with different types of experts. In doing so, I've stumbled upon a few secrets I wish I had known the first time I picked up the phone and nervously made my first call to conduct an interview.

1. Record the Call...If Your Subject Agrees

I love recording phone calls. They allow me to listen to the subject rather than scribbling incomprehensible notes to myself. The recording also gives me some piece of mind, in case there is ever a dispute about what was or wasn't said. Of course, I always ask before I turn on the recorder. Not one subject has ever refused consent once I explained that the recordings were for my own personal use and that I would delete them after the article ran.

Writers and Secondary Trauma

I've spent the last two weeks hard at work on an article about military sexual trauma (MST). One day, I conducted three intense interviews in a span of less than two hours.

After the last interview, I put away my MST folder and pulled out a folder for a different project that needed my attention.

And I froze. I could not make the transition.

Dealing with managing a writing career and bipolar disorder has given me a fairly vocal inner editor/drill sergeant, but that day not even she could get me going.

Finally, I turned off the computer and wandered over to my couch to watch television. But it wasn't the comforting sounds of a sitcom I heard--I kept remembering the anxious, close-to-tears voice of one of the women I'd interviewed.

Then it hit me what had happened. I was going through what mental health professionals call "secondary trauma." Secondary trauma occurs when you empathize with a traumatized person or group so much that you begin to take on symptoms of their pain and trauma. It's a little like the old joke about men experiencing sympathetic labor pains, but when it actually happens, it's not so funny.

I had learned about secondary trauma the hard way. During my years as an emergency room social worker, I'd often come home in tears over things my clients had experienced.

With the help of my supervisor, who saw what was going on and warned me that I was at risk for burning out, I had developed a set of rituals to help me leave my work at the hospital. Eventually, I learned how to be intensely, empathetically present with my clients during the minutes or hours when our lives intersected and how to release them fully when it was time for us to part ways.

No Health Insurance - Walking a Tightrope without a Safety Net

(Note: I'm not a doctor and nothing in this post should be considered medical advice!)

On February 1, 2012, I became one of the 46 million Americans in this country without health insurance.

When I left my social work job to work fulltime as a freelance writer last August, I planned to keep coverage from my former employer through COBRA.

After a few months of that, I realized that monthly premiums cost almost as much as my rent. Also, the plan had a $2000 deductible, so it wasn't doing me much good anyway.

But actually taking the plunge was terrifying. I have a history of bipolar disorder, diabetes (resolved after weight loss surgery), and high cholesterol. My family medical history includes heart disease and breast cancer. In other words, unless I can slide into a high risk pool, I'm pretty much uninsurable.

But it was either give up the insurance or start living on a cat food diet, and my cats are not big on the concept of sharing.

If you, too, are considering ditching your health plan, the following information may be helpful.

1. Make sure you're in good health before you go.

Before I canceled my plan, I saw all of my doctors and advised them that I would be switching from insurance to private pay. My primary care physician gave me a physical, did blood work, and sent me for a mammogram--all clear.

To Swear or Not to Swear?

Unfortunately, I happen to be very fluent in French, and not the kind that they speak in Paris. My French is more along the lines of  "[vile swear word]...oops, pardon my French."

This tendency has gotten me into some pretty embarrassing situations. When I was in my early 20s, for instance, I was driving one of my young nephews to the park when another driver cut me off so sharply that I had to slam on the brakes to avoid an accident. I won't tell you exactly what I said, but to this day, more than 20 years later, my nephew can still repeat every cringe-worthy word of it. Let's just say that I didn't win any Aunt of the Year awards for that one.

Strong language in my writing has occasionally become an issue as well. Obviously, there are some venues where it is verboten. Even I know better than to cuss like a sailor when I'm writing grants, white papers, academic pieces, and church newsletters.

But a few months ago, I was writing a case study and used the word "dammit" as part of a quotation. The editor asked me to please remove the profanity and, red faced, I did as she requested.

Being Flexible Can Help Your Writing Career Soar

There's an old joke dating back to pre-World War II days that sill makes its rounds in the military. One night, a young captain who had just taken charge of his first ship was alerted by his crew that they were on a collision course with another vessel.

The captain rushed up to the bridge and, sure enough, he could see a light that appeared to be getting closer.

He hailed the other ship, telling them to change their course.

The reply came back quickly: "You change course."

Annoyed, the young captain tapped out another message. "Advise you to change course immediately."

A moment later, he got his answer: "Advise you to change course immediately."

Now really angry, the captain pounded out, "I am a battleship!"

"I am a lighthouse."

The captain changed his course.

Like the young captain in the story, we may become so focused on one path that we don't recognize the times when the smartest move is simply to change course.

It doesn't help that this culture makes it difficult for people to admit a change of mind or heart. Look at how politicians are mocked for "flip flopping" or being "wishy washy" if they deviate so much as one word from a previously stated position.

These kinds of messages make it easy to forget that flexibility is actually a desirable characteristic. It's adaptive to allow new information to influence our choices. It's when we aren't open to new ideas or perspectives that we...well, tend to run into lighthouses.