Freelance Writer and Social Worker

5 Excuses Writers Can Use to Turn Down Problem Assignments (Or, You Want Me To Write WHAT?)

It's really, really hard to turn down gigs in this economy, but sometimes it's the only way to keep your sanity and your self-respect intact. In the last year, for instance, I've refused to edit a business letter that was filled with profanity, racial slurs, and thinly veiled threats of violence. I also declined the once-in-a-lifetime chance to work on a homophobic rant that would have made Fred Phelps look tolerant, as well as the chance to ghost write a book for a pedophile about how to groom victims. Finally, I ditched a client who was increasing my blood pressure but not my bank account.

Of course, they weren't all that bad. Sometimes I didn't take a job because I knew less than nothing about the topic, and the pay being offered didn't inspire me to learn. Other times the client was rude and demanding during our first contact, and I figured that if I took him or her own as a client, things would only get worse.

So, once you've decided you're not going to work with a client, how do you communicate the decision to him or to her? Depending on the situation, I use five all-purpose excuses.

1. "I'm booked for the foreseeable future."

This is the one I use on clients whom I find mildly annoying, but whom I might be willing to work with at some point. I usually follow up the "I'm booked" message by adding, I know you'll find another great writer, but if my schedule clears, I can send you an email and see if you're still interested in my services." In other words, I leave the door about half open.

2. "I'm afraid I don't know anything about..."

I usually save this one for projects that just don't interest me, especially the ones that do not pay well. Again, I leave a foot in the door by saying something like, "I'd love to hear from you again if you have work in the areas of..."

What Being Called a Bitch Taught Me about Freelance Writing

My first social work position was in a hospital emergency room where I sometimes had to be very firm with drunk or drugged patients who were acting out. I had all the training I needed to do the job, but I wasn't ready for clients to call me names, scream obscenities at me, or throw half-full urinals at my head.

After a few weeks of this, I went to my supervisor in tears and told her I couldn't take it anymore.

She then told me something I've never forgotten: "You know," she said, "given the clients you work with, if you don't get called a bitch at least once a shift, you're probably not doing your job right."

What an eye-opening concept. I returned to the emergency room with a whole new mindset. Each time a client cursed me out, I held my ground and reminded myself that the verbal assault was an affirmation that I was, indeed, doing my job.

Eventually, I developed a greater comfort level with my clients, as well as a thicker skin. I even started to joke with some of our regular patients, whom we called "frequent flyers."

"Why don't you call me a puta (prostitute) anymore?" I asked one of our Mexican patients who was wide awake despite having a blood-alcohol level that should have been lethal.

He clapped a hand on my shoulder. "Is no fun now that you don't cry no more."

"Come on, call me a name for old time's sake. I haven't met my nightly quota."

He gave me an odd look and muttered something that ended in "loco."

10 Creative and Cheap Ways to Market Your Freelance Writing Business

You've heard the old marketing slogan, "You've got to spend money to make money." There's even some truth to that. At the bare minimum, you should have a website and a stack of business cards, and yeah, you'll have to pay for those.

When it comes to calling people's attention to your wonderful freelance writing business, however, you don't have to have a marketing budget like a Fortune 500 company. All you need is a little creativity and a lot of nerve.

Here are some ideas that have helped me.

1. Leave Business Cards Everywhere

Since business cards are pretty cheap, I've gotten into the habit of leaving a few wherever I go. I even stick one into the envelope when I pay a bill.

My best business card strategy, however, was diabolically simple. I went to the business section of the library and slipped one of my cards into every book. I especially focused on topics like "how to write a resume" or "how to write a business letter." Believe it or not, I've netted some business this way.

2. Take Advantage of Social Media

No, I'm not your mom. I'm not going to lecture you on why you should cozy up with Twitter, Facebook, LinkedIn, Google+, etc. My only two comments are that 1) They're free; and 2) Thousands of people use them. 'Nuff said.

My Favorite Freelance Writing Posts

Isn't it a shame that when you write a blog some of your best posts slip away into obscurity. (Then, of course, there are the posts that truly should slip away into obscurity, but that's a different story.)

Anyway, this week I was feeling a little nostalgic, and maybe a little lazy as well, and decided to rerun some of my favorite posts from the last year or so. If you missed the originals, I hope you'll find something amusing or something informative in these selections.

1. 25 Strategies for Smashing Through Writer's Block. No, I'm not going to take the time to argue about whether there is any such thing as writer's block. Whatever we want to call it, most of us have had times when we're simply stuck, and these tips can help.

2. Freelance Writers: 7 Tips for Caring for Your Hands, Wrists, and Arms. We may not be professional athletes, but we still rely on our bodies to make a living. If you aren't already, start treating those hands with kid gloves.

3. Dear Debra - A Letter to My Sixteen Year Old Self. My personal favorite blog posts. I just wish someone really had been around when I was 16 to give me that advice!

Where to Find Debra Stang, Freelance Writer, Online

Sometimes when you're online a lot, you can become so well camouflaged that the people who want to find you can't do so. In case any of you have been looking for me and would like to connect on other sites, here are some of the places where I enjoy hanging out.

1. Twitter

(@DebraLStang) - I don't always get to Tweet as frequently as I want to, but Twitter is a great place to browse to see trending topics. Whether or not you choose to follow me, I highly recommend it.

2. Facebook

Personal Page - This one gets updated occasionally, as I remember it.

Business Page - My business page is updated almost daily. Lots of links and recommendations from me and my readers--give it a try.

3. LinkedIn

Profile - I'm here on and off, but I'm always glad to connect with new people and networks!

4. My Professional Website

Debra L. Stang, Kansas City Freelance Writer - This is the best place to reach me if you have a question for me or if you'd like me to take on a writing or editing job for you.

5. My Amazon Associates Bookstore

Debra Stang, Writer and Editor - I sell some of my own books here, but most of the titles listed are books that have helped me grow as a businesswoman and a writer. I've also added some of my favorite novels and movies, just for fun.

6. Alliance of Hope for Suicide Survivors

Blog - Alliance of Hope is a wonderful organization for people who have lost a loved one to suicide. I've been the editor of their blog for more than a year and a half.  

7. Web Answers

Answered questions - This is a quirky site, mostly just for fun.

Coming Soon...I'm going to revamp and relaunch my Amazon Author Page. Stay tuned for details.  

9 Pieces of Writing Advice I Wish I'd Never Heard

When you're considering a writing career, everyone wants to give you advice or tell you horror stories about the friend of a friend who tried to become a writer and ended up starving to death in her lonely apartment.

Aside from the scary stories (and I suspect they're told by the same people who like to regale first-time mums with tales of agonizing labor), I think most of what is said is well-intentioned. But is it accurate? Not always. There are a few pieces I wish I'd never heard. Here are some of my favorites.

1. Don't Quit Your Day Job

While it's true that you don't want to go rushing into the literary world without a plan, it's also true that if you want to live as a writer, you're going to have to make the plunge someday. Don't spend precious time waiting for the exact minute when all the stars are aligned and the wind is coming from the right direction. If you must follow some advice, why not make it the advice from the Broadway musical, Wicked? Just close your eyes...and leap!

2. Write What You Know

Do you know that Edgar Rice Burroughs, the creator of the Tarzan stories, never once set foot in Africa? For that matter, it's a pretty sure bet that he never went to Mars, either. And J.K. Rowling certainly didn't visit Hogwarts before her writing brought it into existence. Writing only what you know is dull. Write what you're passionate about and what you're eager to learn. Write the story you must tell. Everything else will work itself out.

3. Don't Tell Anyone About Your Project

It's true that some writers spend so much time telling others about their work that they never put pen to paper (or fingers to keyboard) and create anything. But as long as you're writing, don't be shy about letting others know about your project. You never know when someone else may help you come up with the perfect plot twist or provide information on a subject you don't know much about.

What Do People Say When You Come Out as a Writer?

Parties just aren't my thing. If you looked up the word "introvert" in a dictionary, you'd probably find it illustrated with my picture. I've discovered that going to parties and networking events is even harder when you're a writer.

When I was a social worker, I could get through the "So, what do you do?" exchange with a minimum of fuss. Most people aren't that interested in social workers.

Now, however, I have to tell people I'm a writer, and that elicits all kinds of comments--some of them rude, some funny, and some so far off base I have to bite my tongue to keep from laughing. Here are a few of my favorite examples.

1. HAVE YOU WRITTEN ANYTHING I'VE READ?

What I'd like to say: If you have to ask, probably not.

What I say instead: I do quite a bit of producing blogs and other web copy, and I ghostwrite a lot. You've probably come across my work somewhere without even realizing it.

2. HOW MUCH MONEY DO YOU MAKE?

What I'd like to say: None of your damn business.

What I say instead: Oh it varies so much from month to month I couldn't even give you a ballpark figure.

3. YOU'RE SO LUCKY. I'VE ALWAYS WANTED TO BE A WRITER.

What I'd like to say: Then sit your butt down in a chair and start writing.

What I say instead: Actually, luck doesn't have a whole lot to do with it. I've worked and practiced really hard to get where I am.

25 Quotes to Cheer You Up After Your Writing is Rejected

I consider myself a good writer--not eye-poppingly great, mind you, but good enough so that I probably won't find myself immortalized in any slush pile horror stories. But good or not, I still get rejected. A lot.

And it still hurts. A lot. Yes, I know that it's all part of the business and that if you want to survive you have to grow a skin thicker than rhinoceros hide. Normally, I'm pretty good at sloughing off harsh words.

Some days, though, when I'm really struggling, it helps to go back and read what others have said about being rejected in the arts and in life in general. I hope you find these words as much as a pick-me-up as I do.

1. "Don't let anyone, or any rejection, keep you from what you want." - Ashley Tisdale

2. "I could write an entertaining novel about rejection slips, but I fear it would be overly long." - Louise Brown

3. "I really wish I was less of a thinking man and more of a fool not afraid of rejection." - Billy Joel.

4. "I submit all my plays to the National Theatre for rejection. To assure myself I am seeing clearly." - Howard Barker

5. "I don't want anyone who doesn't want me." - Oprah Winfrey

6. "I take rejection as someone blowing a bugle in my ear to wake me up and get going, rather than retreat." - Sylvester Stallone

7. "I think a hero is an ordinary individual who finds strength to persevere and endure in spite of overwhelming obstacles." - Christopher Reeve

7 Time-Saving Elements for Business Email

Because I find most of my clients online, I check my email several times every day. I don't stop and answer all of it. I just skim the senders for names I recognize and take a quick look at the subject lines.

And that's where things start to get tricky. Today, for instance, one subject line I came across read, "Hi, how are you?" Spam, I thought, and started to click delete, but something changed my mind. I read the email and discovered it contained a job offer. Who would have thought?

This whole email thing has got me thinking about online communications. If we could all just conform to seven simple guidelines, we could save so much time!

1. Make sure you have the correct recipient and only the correct recipient. In other words, don't hit "reply all" if only one person needs your response. Before you send a new email, check to make sure it's really going to the right person. My name is apparently similar to the name of one of my client's best friends. I'm always getting long BFF emails from this person that are intended for her pal. I used to send them back to her with a nice explanation. Now I just delete them.

10 Commandments of Freelance Writing

Those of you who know me know that I'm not in the least religious. I didn't get the following Ten Commandments from Moses. I didn't even hike up some mountain trail and get them from God.

Instead, they represent a consensus of me and my writing friends about the laws that should govern our chosen profession.

If we've missed anything obvious, feel free to add your own. Where this list is concerned, there's nothing magical about the number ten.

So, here we go:

1. Thou shalt not plagiarize. Never, ever, ever, ever take another writer's work and pass it off as your own. Just don't do it. I don't really believe in hell, but if it exists, I picture it as a really big after school detention room where students are forced to write endlessly on chalkboards, "It is wrong to steal the works of other writers."

2. Thou shalt not miss deadlines...without a damn good reason. Good reasons can include illness, personal crises like a death in the family, and major issues like a flooded house that must be dealt with ASAP. Sorry, a bad hair day just doesn't cut it.

3. Thou shalt not flame editors or clients, even if they really, really deserve it. If you've gotten critiques that make no sense or requests for edits that would weaken the entire piece, you know what I mean. There's certainly no law that says you can't disagree politely and explain your reasoning. But if your email starts out, "Dear Stupid, Moronic, Illiterate SOB," it's probably better not to hit the send button.