If you write for any length of time and if you allow others to see your work, it will happen--you'll get a bad review. I've had editing and coaching clients call me practically hysterical because their books got a one-star rating on Amazon. I've also felt the pain of poor ratings and criticisms that seem unfairly harsh.
My knee-jerk response is to quote one of my favorite Clint Eastwood lines, "Opinions are like a**holes. Everybody has one."
But bad reviews can cut deep, and it's a good idea to develop a strategy for handling them with grace. The following ideas have worked for me.
1. Acknowledge your feelings. Share your pain, anger, and disappointment with someone you trust, or pour your feelings out to your pet or your journal. Some people find that physical activity like taking a brisk walk or rearranging the living room furniture can help to discharge painful feelings.
2. Don't retaliate. One of the worst things you can do is flame the reviewer or leave an angry or defensive message on the reviewer's blog explaining why the review was unfair. You won't change the reviewer's opinion of your book, and you'll make yourself appear childish and insecure in the eyes of others.
3. Look for the kernel of truth. Once the most acute hurt has faded away, take a second look at the review. Try to find out if anything valuable lies behind the snarkiness and the barbed humor. Does the reviewer make any valid points? If so, make note of them and use them to make your writing stronger in the future. Let go of the rest of it.
4. Consider the source. My novel, Visiting Grandma, which deals with a gay teen's experience of sexual abuse, once received an absolutely scathing review. However, the reviewer's biggest complaint seemed to be that I had written sympathetically about a gay character. He said practically nothing about my writing, but quite a bit about where I was likely to spend eternity. In the end, all I could do was laugh and remind myself that it's okay--and sometimes quite preferable--not to be liked by everyone.
5. Keep writing. Don't pull into your shell like a turtle at the very first hint of criticism. If every writer who ever got a bad review immediately stopped writing, we would lose most of the world's literature. Mark Twain would never have written The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn, Stephen King would have abandoned his literary career after Carrie was released, and Harry Potter would not have advanced beyond his first year at Hogwarts.
Every time you pick up a pen or sit down in front of your keyboard, you risk writing a piece that someone will dislike. It is just as likely, however, that what you write will offer someone inspiration or a smile on a difficult day.
One day, for instance, shortly after I received the horrific review of Visiting Grandma, I checked my box at the post office and found an envelope with no return address. It contained a piece of notebook paper with three scribbled sentences. "Read Visiting Grandma. Think maybe there is hope for me after all. Thanks." That one letter was worth all the negative reviews in the world.
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