Freelance Writer and Social Worker

A Glamorous Day in the Life of a Freelance Writer

Several of my friends have been asking me what my days are like now that I'm self-employed. Except, that's not quite how they put it. They usually ask me how things are now that I no longer have to work. Many are convinced that I'm living a life of luxury and leisure. For anyone who is curious, the following timeline represents a fairly typical day in my life.

Does Your Fiction Pass the Bechdel Test?

Taking the Bechdel Test, named after award winning writer, artist, and cartoonist Allison Bechdel, is a good way to make sure that your female characters are real, fully-fleshed out human beings who have lives that extend beyond being a romantic foil for the male protagonist.

In order to pass the Bechdel Test, your fiction must meet three criteria:

The Five Wierdest Items on My Desk

My friend Sylvia, an artist, always kept a glass aquarium full of plastic toys beside her as she painted. She said the toys inspired her to be spontaneous and playful in her artwork.

Another of my friends can't write a word unless she has a bouquet of flowers on her desk. Still another needs a picture of his family to summon the muse.

Being creative people, most of us keep personal and/or unusual items on our desks to spur us on as we write. Take a look at your writing desk. Aside from the obligatory computer, pens, and paper, what do you see?

Looking at my own work space, I see at least five items that are out of the ordinary. An expert in organizing would probably deem them clutter and order me to move them out of my work space, but I actually enjoy having non-writing-related items on my desk. Some amuse me, some soothe me, some inspire me, and some do all three. So, without further ado, here is my list of the five strangest items on my desk.

1. A Candle. The one I'm burning today happens to have a spicy pumpkin scent in honor of the recent autumnal equinox. Other flavors that I enjoy include vanilla and cinnamon (fall and winter), cherry and lilac (spring and summer), and lavender (year round).

2. A Small Fan. I love the feeling of air moving across my face, and I also find the soft white noise calming. I just have to be careful to aim the fan so that it blows on me and not on the lose pile of notes that I just finished organizing...

3. A Jewelry Cremation Urn. Two years ago, after a lifelong struggle with depression, one of my closest friends completed suicide. She was cremated, and we scattered her ashes. Before doing so, however, a few of her closest friends and I purchased miniature jewelry urns that hold a teaspoon or so worth of her ashes. I wore the urn as a necklace for about six months. Now it has a place of honor on my desk.

4. An Itsy-Bitsy Teddy Bear with a Rainbow Flag. The teddy bear was a gift from my mother. It's a tiny white bear all decked out for Christmas with a halo over its head and a frilly skirt modestly covering it from the waist down. I, of course, decided she was transgendered and named her Charlie. Charlie became a running joke between me and my mom. A few years later, Mom and I were shopping when I saw a tiny ceramic gray pride flag. We both decided it would be perfect for Charlie, and I bought it on the spot.

5. A Grouchy 15-Pound Cat. Also known as my "muse with an attitude," my oldest cat, Achilles, loves to jump on my desk and watch me while I work. He knows I'm a soft touch and counts on me occasionally stopping to pet him. If he thinks the intervals between petting intervals have become too long, he let's me know by smacking my hand with his paw.

Now that I've confessed about the strangest things on my desk, what are the strangest things on yours? 

Do You Believe in Writer's Block?

Do you believe in writer's block? I couldn't throw a much more inflammatory question at a group of writers if I tried! Some writers are firmly convinced that they have been and are afflicted with writer's block on a regular basis. Other writers suggest that the blocked writers are nothing but a bunch of malingerers.

And where do I stand on this polarizing question?

Somewhere in the middle. I've experienced times myself when I had difficulty writing. Back then, I would have called myself "blocked." Looking back with 20/20 hindsight, however, I realize that the block was always the symptom, not the disease.

Oxbridge Media Project - Deadbeat or Just Disorganized?

This is the kind of column I never like to write, but if I've been taken advantage of by a company, I imagine other writers have been, too.

In this case, the company in question is Oxbridge Media Project. They contacted me on July 16, after I had responded to an ad they were running for writers, and said that they liked my style. They invited me to pitch three article ideas. I pitched the three ideas, and all of the ideas were accepted. I submitted the articles on July 28, and on August 3, I received an email from the editor telling me that the three articles had been accepted for publication and that I could expect to hear from the accounting department soon.

On August 14, the accounting department got in touch with me and asked me to electronically sign a contributor's agreement. I did so and returned it the same day. Since then, I have heard nothing from anyone at Oxbridge regarding payment for my articles.

I have written to the accounting department three times and to the editor twice. I have asked them if they could let me know when to expect payment, and I even offered to accept a payment plan or reduced payment if the company was in financial difficulty.

As of today, I still have not been paid for the articles, and all of my emails have gone unanswered.

I'm hoping the company is simply disorganized and not a deadbeat or a scam, but at this point my hopes are not high. A word to the wise: If you are approached by Oxbridge Media Project, run in the other direction - fast.

What Is My %$^&# Password?

An old friend of mine called me the other night. "Who was I dating in 2000?" she asked me.

I searched my memory. I could barely recall whom I was dating in 2000. Finally a name came to me. "Elizabeth?"

"No. Before Elizabeth."

I thought some more. "Diane," I said finally.

"Yes, that's it. Hold on a minute," my friend said. I heard the sound of fingers striking a keyboard. Then my friend came back on the line. "Oh, damn," she said. "That wasn't it."

I knew immediately what was going on. It's a cognitive impairment that seems to be unique to my generation: password dementia. I've signed up for probably a dozen online accounts that I can't access now because I've forgotten my user name or my password.

Finding Your Optimal Writing Hours

Much to the irritation of my early-to-bed-and-early-to-rise family, as a kid I always seemed to get a second wind around 9:00 PM. While my parents and sisters tried to sleep, I sat at my desk or in my favorite rocking chair scribbling the words that suddenly came spilling out of my mind.

I did all my best work late at night. I might have struggled over a school assignment for hours, but as midnight drew near, the words and answers hit me like a wave rushing over me. From the time I was about ten years old, I was chronically sleep-deprived.

College was a little better. I still did my best work between midnight and sunrise, but at least I could schedule most of my classes in the afternoons so I could sleep later.

Over the next several years as I operated a freelance writing business in addition to my social work career, I had no choice but to write into the evenings and sometimes late into the night.

As most of you know, I recently quit my day job, which gave me all the time in the world for my writing. That was when I discovered something interesting. Midnight was no longer my most productive time. Somehow over the years, I'd joined that species of people I used to despise--morning people.

I've learned through trial and error that for nonfiction writing, my optimal hours extend from about 7:00 AM to 2:00 PM. After 2:00 PM, my mind runs dry, and I know I need to confine myself to busy work like typing new articles into my portfolio, paying bills, and doing light research.

At first I thought my late-night writing was history, and I missed it horribly; however, I soon picked up on another surprising discovery. Me trying to write nonfiction in the evenings is pretty much a lost cause, but fiction? That's a different story. Like the night-person I once was, I do my best work on short stories, novellas, or novels from about 7:00 PM to 11:00 PM.

It has taken me some trial and error to patch my days together effectively now that writing has become my fulltime thing, but by George, I think I've finally got it.

What are your best writing times? 

The Meanest Boss West of the Mississippi

After my father graduated from law school, he returned to the small Kansas town where he was born and raised to open his own law practice. Over the years, that practice has thrived, even as economic declines hit the town hard and other businesses went under. Whenever a new lawyer moves into the area, he or she inevitably comes to my father to ask the secret of his success. Daddy always pretends to think about it a few moments and then says, "It's because I work for the meanest S.O.B. west of the Mississippi River."