Freelance Writer and Social Worker

To Swear or Not to Swear?

Unfortunately, I happen to be very fluent in French, and not the kind that they speak in Paris. My French is more along the lines of  "[vile swear word]...oops, pardon my French."

This tendency has gotten me into some pretty embarrassing situations. When I was in my early 20s, for instance, I was driving one of my young nephews to the park when another driver cut me off so sharply that I had to slam on the brakes to avoid an accident. I won't tell you exactly what I said, but to this day, more than 20 years later, my nephew can still repeat every cringe-worthy word of it. Let's just say that I didn't win any Aunt of the Year awards for that one.

Strong language in my writing has occasionally become an issue as well. Obviously, there are some venues where it is verboten. Even I know better than to cuss like a sailor when I'm writing grants, white papers, academic pieces, and church newsletters.

But a few months ago, I was writing a case study and used the word "dammit" as part of a quotation. The editor asked me to please remove the profanity and, red faced, I did as she requested.

Being Flexible Can Help Your Writing Career Soar

There's an old joke dating back to pre-World War II days that sill makes its rounds in the military. One night, a young captain who had just taken charge of his first ship was alerted by his crew that they were on a collision course with another vessel.

The captain rushed up to the bridge and, sure enough, he could see a light that appeared to be getting closer.

He hailed the other ship, telling them to change their course.

The reply came back quickly: "You change course."

Annoyed, the young captain tapped out another message. "Advise you to change course immediately."

A moment later, he got his answer: "Advise you to change course immediately."

Now really angry, the captain pounded out, "I am a battleship!"

"I am a lighthouse."

The captain changed his course.

Like the young captain in the story, we may become so focused on one path that we don't recognize the times when the smartest move is simply to change course.

It doesn't help that this culture makes it difficult for people to admit a change of mind or heart. Look at how politicians are mocked for "flip flopping" or being "wishy washy" if they deviate so much as one word from a previously stated position.

These kinds of messages make it easy to forget that flexibility is actually a desirable characteristic. It's adaptive to allow new information to influence our choices. It's when we aren't open to new ideas or perspectives that we...well, tend to run into lighthouses.

Dear Debra - A Letter to My Sixteen-Year-Old Self

A few days ago, I read the book, "Dear Me: A Letter to My Sixteen-Year-Old Self," edited by Joseph Galliano. Celebrities from Alan Rickman (Snape, Harry Potter movies) to financial guru Suze Orman weighed in with what they wanted their younger selves to know.

That book literally crackled with ideas and hope. In fact, I thought the concept was such a good idea that I decided to look back across time and write a letter to myself, a letter that I would have been thrilled to receive when I was that age.

I've taken out some of the embarrassingly personal parts, but I've left in the advice for me as a young writer. Maybe it will help someone else out there who's struggling to make a living from words. If not, at least writing it was very cathartic. Here goes...

Dear 16-year-old Debra,

You're smiling in this picture, but I can still see the sadness in your eyes and the hurt in your heart. I know you are being horribly, methodically bullied. I also know that the next 24 months will leave you broken, exhausted, and wondering if there is any point to going on.

Don't give into those feelings of despair, child. I'm living proof that you make it through the hard tmes and come out on the other side...

...And you will live your lifelong dream of becoming a self-supporting writer. No, not writing lurid novels like the ones you like to read now--though never forget, a pseudonym is a wonderful thing--but you will be best known for your nonfiction. Your work will appear on the Internet (you'll find out what that is later) and in print.

And because I feel like I'm supposed to be the voice of wisdom here, or something, I've put together a few tips to help you along the way. I don't expect you to listen to me. Most of this shit (yeah, we curse now) is stuff you'll have to figure out as you make your own way. Then you can slap a hand to your forehead and say, "You know what? That crazy lady was right!" Anyway, here goes.

Take the Next Step as a Freelance Writer - Let Go of the Driftwood

A couple of years ago, when I was struggling to replace a self-destructive behavior with a new, healthier one, I saw a therapist who suggested an analogy I've never forgotten.

Imagine, she said, that you've survived a shipwreck and are clinging to a piece of driftwood in the middle of the ocean. You've been holding onto that driftwood for a long time. You're getting sleepy, your arms are getting tired, and the sharks are starting to circle.

Then, just when you think all hope is lost, a rescue helicopter swoops onto the scene and dangles a rescue ladder in front of you. You know that the helicopter can carry you to safety. There's just one catch. In order to grab hold of the ladder, you first have to let go of the driftwood...

That sounds easy enough, doesn't it? Let go of something that's not working in order to grasp something that you know will work better. Ah, but the catch is that terrifying moment between letting go of the old thing and grabbing onto of the new, that seemingly interminable moment when you're holding nothing.

And what happens if the helicopter and the ladder are just optical illusions, or if you grab for that ladder with the last of your strength and you miss it? These terrifying possibilities can leave you clinging to the driftwood forever...or at least until the sharks get hungry.

You've Got Mail! Why Freelance Writers SHOULD Check Email Frequently

If I've read the advice in one time management book, I've read it in a dozen: Never check email first thing in the morning. Only check email once or twice during the day. That little "ding" that lets you know when new mail arrives in your inbox is the enemy.

Rubbish. If you're a freelance writer, not checking email regularly is a habit that can cause you to lose both time and money.

Take what happened to me last Monday. On Sunday, I'd accepted a wordy, high-research, quick-turnaround job from a client. I woke up before sunrise on Monday morning, staggered my computer, and--just like all the time-management books advise--I put in two full hours of work before I checked my email. That turned out to be a big mistake, because if I'd checked first, I would have known that the client sent me an email late Sunday night canceling the project I'd just spent two hours researching.

As if that wasn't annoying enough--and it was plenty damned annoying--later that day, I missed out on an opportunity to bid on another well-paying rush job because, just like the books suggest, my email notification as turned off and I didn't get the message in time.

5 Important Lessons I Learned Writing for Content Mills

Over the years, content mills have gotten a bad reputation, and it's not all undeserved. They pay rock-bottom prices. Much of the material they publish is inaccurate or just plain incomprehensible, they stifle any glimmer of creativity shown by their writers, and they value quantity over quality.

That said, I'm not ready to grab a torch and lead the townspeople to burn down the nearest content mill. I actually started my writing career working for content mills. They have helped pay off my student loans, sent me on more than one fabulous vacation, and helped me keep my utilities on when cash was short.

Although they're no longer my bread and butter, I'll still zip over to one of the mills and churn out a few articles if business is slow.

I would also be remiss if I did not give content mills credit for five of the most valuable lessons I've learned as a writer.

1. Writing quickly. I used to be a slow writer who agonized over making each word perfect, but when you're racing a six hour deadline, it doesn't take long to replace perfect with "eh...good enough." Now I always pound out my first draft as fast as possible, often within a matter of minutes. Of course, my first draft is not my last draft, and revisions can be a painstaking process, but at least I've learned how to get my initial thoughts down on paper where I can play with them and reword them to my heart's delight.

2. Writing plainly. When you document in a medical chart, you say a patient "ambulates." When you write for a content mill, you say she "walks." I once got into an argument with an editor about whether or not I had used a word correctly. "I found it in the dictionary," I emailed. He shot back, "You don't understand. Our readers don't want to have to go to the dictionary." Point taken. I made the revisions he requested.

Don't Cry for Me Argentina - Combining Work and Play

January 19th was my birthday, and a friend and I were lucky enough to snag tickets to a concert featuring two of my favorite theater stars, Patti LuPone and Mandy Patinkin. The last time these two lifelong friends appeared onstage together was when they played Eva and Che, respectively, in the Broadway run of Evita.

If I've listened to the Evita soundtrack once, I've listened to it a thousand times. Just ask my poor parents who had to hear it, too. I've probably got the only mother in the United States who wishes her kid had been into death metal!

Just being in the same room with those two magnificent and familiar voices gave me shivers. And okay, I'll admit it, when Patti LuPone hit the last note in "Don't Cry for Me, Argentina," I teared up.

I expected the duo to be fantastic, and they were. Based on their reputations, I expected them to work their tails off to put on a brilliant show, and they did. What I didn't expect was that they would have so much fun. Although the songs were utterly amazing, my favorite moments were the ad libs, the gentle back-and-forth teasing, and the shared smiles and looks which spoke eloquently of a friendship lasting more than 30 years.

Patti LuPone and Mandy Patinkin not only put on a once-in-a-lifetime show for their audience, they clearly enjoyed every minute of it. That was what made the concert truly magical.

Defending Your Work Day as a Freelance Writer

"It's so great that you don't have to work," one of my friends told me recently. "I feel like I can just call you for anything."

I had mixed feelings about that. Of course I want my friends to see me as helpful and reliable, but I hadn't realized I "didn't have to work." In fact, I could have sworn I'd stayed up until 3:00 A.M. just that morning to help one of my many clients finish a last-minute editing project.

I know I'm not the only freelancer who runs into this dilemma. Many of the writers I know who work from home report that their friends and family members feel free to call, drop by, or ask them to run errands during the days.

These same people, of course, would never dream of barging into a brick-and-mortar workplace with similar demands.

So, what can you do if your loved ones treat you as though you don't have a "real" job?

These suggestions may help.

1. Commit to working a certain number of hours. Right now, my goal is a 50-hour work week: Eight hours Monday through Friday with half days on the weekend. I allow for some flexibility, for instance, if I have a daytime appointment, I might work a half day on Tuesday and a full day on Saturday, but the 50 hours is non-negotiable. Knowing that I'm accountable for those hours makes it easier to plan my time and set boundaries.

2. Practice saying "no." No is a word that doesn't come easily to most women and many men. We've been told that it's wrong to appear harsh, uncompromising, or perhaps worst of all, indifferent to the needs of others. When we do say no, we try to sugarcoat the message with excuses or promises of assistance in the future. The truth is, when you can't do something, it's okay to say no and leave it at that. Stand in front of the mirror and practice saying, "I'm sorry; I won't be able to help you with that." Keep saying it until the words come naturally.

3 Reasons Why Writers Miss Deadlines...And How to Stop Doing It

When I first started freelancing, a friend of mine who had been in the business for years explained due dates to me: "They're called deadlines, because dead is what your career will be if you miss too many of them."

Now, I'm certainly not saying I've never, ever missed a deadline, but keeping my friend's advice in mind has ensured that I don't miss them very often. I've also acquired a few clients who told me that they had ended working relationships with other freelancers because they were chronically late when it came to turning in their projects.

If you have a problem with missing deadlines, it's likely that one of three things is going on. See if you recognize any of these reasons:

1. You're procrastinating. Procrastinating means deliberately putting off tasks that you know must be done. People procrastinate for a variety of reasons including dislike for the project at hand, fear of not doing the work right, hope that someone will step in and do the project for you, and addiction to the adrenaline rush that often accompanies postponing a job until the last possible moment.

If you're a procrastinator, you need to make your calendar and your "to do" lists your very best friends in the whole world. As soon as you receive a new assignment, look it over and break it up into small, manageable chunks that are not at all intimidating. Then, schedule time to complete each chunk. Plan to finish your project a couple of days before the actual deadline, just in case you run into unexpected complications.

This method may feel unnatural the first several times you try it, but after a few successes, you'll wonder how you ever muddled along without it.

7 Secrets of Stellar Customer Service

Winning new clients can be expensive, exhausting, and time-consuming. While writers should never stop their marketing efforts--doing so is a one-way ticket to eating cat food if your regular streams of income run dry--it's always nice to have as many repeat customers as possible.

The best way I know to earn repeat business is to provide five-star customer service. After all, most people won't go through the hassle of finding another provider if they believe they're already getting the best.

What does stellar customer service look like? Here are some ideas.

1. Respond promptly to inquiries. In the electronic age, the old cliche, "You snooze, you lose," has never been more accurate. I've found that if I don't respond within a few hours of receiving an inquiry, my would-be customer has usually already tracked down another provider.

2. Get the facts. Ask your prospect lots of questions to make sure you fully understand the scope of the project as well as your client's expectations. If something seems unclear, don't be embarrassed to keep asking in different ways until you get an answer that makes sense. Most clients won't be in the least annoyed by your questions. They would rather give you a lot of information at the beginning of the project than have to request extensive revisions on down the road.