Freelance Writer and Social Worker

5 Excuses Writers Can Use to Turn Down Problem Assignments (Or, You Want Me To Write WHAT?)

It's really, really hard to turn down gigs in this economy, but sometimes it's the only way to keep your sanity and your self-respect intact. In the last year, for instance, I've refused to edit a business letter that was filled with profanity, racial slurs, and thinly veiled threats of violence. I also declined the once-in-a-lifetime chance to work on a homophobic rant that would have made Fred Phelps look tolerant, as well as the chance to ghost write a book for a pedophile about how to groom victims. Finally, I ditched a client who was increasing my blood pressure but not my bank account.

Of course, they weren't all that bad. Sometimes I didn't take a job because I knew less than nothing about the topic, and the pay being offered didn't inspire me to learn. Other times the client was rude and demanding during our first contact, and I figured that if I took him or her own as a client, things would only get worse.

So, once you've decided you're not going to work with a client, how do you communicate the decision to him or to her? Depending on the situation, I use five all-purpose excuses.

1. "I'm booked for the foreseeable future."

This is the one I use on clients whom I find mildly annoying, but whom I might be willing to work with at some point. I usually follow up the "I'm booked" message by adding, I know you'll find another great writer, but if my schedule clears, I can send you an email and see if you're still interested in my services." In other words, I leave the door about half open.

2. "I'm afraid I don't know anything about..."

I usually save this one for projects that just don't interest me, especially the ones that do not pay well. Again, I leave a foot in the door by saying something like, "I'd love to hear from you again if you have work in the areas of..."

Getting Stuck on Your Writing Projects? Try Taking a Break!

Have you come across a problem with plotting or writing one of your articles that you just can't seem to resolve? Are you determined to power through it, no matter what? That may not be such a good idea.

Instead, it's a better idea to take a break. Here's why:

1. Your brain can be overtaxed, just like a muscle. When you lift weights at the gym, what do you do when your muscles start to get tired? Do you pile on more weights and force yourself to keep going, or do you take a break, switch to a different type of exercise, and allow the tired muscles a chance to rest and rejuvenate? Your brain is a little like those tired muscles. The more you try to force it beyond its capacity, the weaker it will become and the less effective you'll be as a writer. Give your mind a little R & R when you first start to feel fatigued, and you'll soon be able to return to your project with new enthusiasm and ideas.

2. Shifting perspective is a great way to come up with answers. I love to work jigsaw puzzles. Sometimes, though, I get disgusted when I can't figure out where a particular piece fits. I've learned long ago that the harder I look, the less success I'll have. My best bet is to walk away, focus my attention on something else like reading a book or working a logic puzzle, and return to the jigsaw in about thirty minutes. Nine times out of ten, I immediately find a place for the troublesome piece. The same is true with writing. If I give myself permission to walk away and work on something else when I get stuck, I almost always come back to the troublesome project with a new batch of workable solutions.

Living and Writing with Bipolar Disorder - Staying on the Road

Imagine the best day you've ever had, a day when you were filled with energy and confidence and felt like you could take on the whole world and win...all before breakfast. Multiply those feelings by about 20. That's a manic episode.

Now imagine the worst day you've ever had, a day when you felt sad and lonely and discouraged. A day when getting out of bed seemed like a Herculean task and you had to force yourself through the motions of getting through the day. Now, multiply that feeling by 100. Unless you've been there, that's probably the closest you can come to understanding a depressive episode.

Although I was not officially diagnosed with bipolar disorder until I was in my thirties, I've been living with it ever since I was a teenager.

On most days, you'd never guess there was anything "wrong" with me. I'm calm, even-tempered, and I love working at my freelance writing business. I can't ever let myself forget, though, that the mania and depression lie in wait, counting on me to make a mistake that will release them.

In some ways, being bipolar is kind of like driving down a road. You're going along just fine when all of a sudden your tires hit an icy patch and send you flying into a skid. With not even a second's notice, you're fighting for your very survival.

Only when the car comes to a shuddering stop are you able to get out and assess the damage--like thousands of dollars in credit card charges or a visit to the hospital emergency room after an overdose.

But the picture is not all bleak. As long as you can keep that car on the road, you can go for days, months, even years without a serious episode of mania or depression.

How do you control that car? These suggestions have helped me.

What Being Called a Bitch Taught Me about Freelance Writing

My first social work position was in a hospital emergency room where I sometimes had to be very firm with drunk or drugged patients who were acting out. I had all the training I needed to do the job, but I wasn't ready for clients to call me names, scream obscenities at me, or throw half-full urinals at my head.

After a few weeks of this, I went to my supervisor in tears and told her I couldn't take it anymore.

She then told me something I've never forgotten: "You know," she said, "given the clients you work with, if you don't get called a bitch at least once a shift, you're probably not doing your job right."

What an eye-opening concept. I returned to the emergency room with a whole new mindset. Each time a client cursed me out, I held my ground and reminded myself that the verbal assault was an affirmation that I was, indeed, doing my job.

Eventually, I developed a greater comfort level with my clients, as well as a thicker skin. I even started to joke with some of our regular patients, whom we called "frequent flyers."

"Why don't you call me a puta (prostitute) anymore?" I asked one of our Mexican patients who was wide awake despite having a blood-alcohol level that should have been lethal.

He clapped a hand on my shoulder. "Is no fun now that you don't cry no more."

"Come on, call me a name for old time's sake. I haven't met my nightly quota."

He gave me an odd look and muttered something that ended in "loco."

Fiction Writers - 10 Resources to Help You with Character Names

Naming your characters can be almost as hard as naming your kids--or so I've been told. I don't have kids. What I do have is experience gently rubbing my aching temples in the wee hours of the morning as I try to think of the perfect name for my villain or as I wonder half-hysterically if I can really tolerate writing 300 pages about a character named Priscilla Louisa.

At these moments, character naming resources come in very handy. The 10 I've listed are my personal favorites, but feel free to add yours in the comments section. I'm always happy for new ideas!

1. Baby Names for the New Century: A Comprehensive Multicultural Guide to Finding the Perfect Name for Your Baby, by Pamela Samuelson (HarperTorch, 1994). I was surprised to see that this book had a rather average ranking on Amazon, because I've been using it for years. It contains a ton of names along with their derivatives and origins. Unfortunately, it's getting a little dated now--it was, after all, published almost 20 years ago--but I still use it on a regular basis.

2. The Baby Name Wizard: A Magical Method for Finding the Perfect Name for Your Baby, by Laura Wattenberg (Three Rivers Press, 2005). There are many things I like about this book, including the graphs that show dips and rises in the name's popularity and the suggestions for sibling names that match the name being discussed.

3. Baby Names Made Easy: The Complete Reverse-Dictionary of Baby Names, by Amanda Elizabeth Barden (Touchstone, 2009). This very helpful book allows you to look up names by their meanings. If you enjoy using character names with a symbolic touch, this is an excellent resource for you.

4. A is for Atticus: Baby Names from Great Books, by Lorilee Craker (Center Street, 2008). Granted, this book isn't as comprehensive as some other books of baby/character names, but it does a great job of suggesting literary names from the obvious to the obscure. Especially helpful if you're trying to decide on a name for a teenage character whose parents are both English professors.

10 Creative and Cheap Ways to Market Your Freelance Writing Business

You've heard the old marketing slogan, "You've got to spend money to make money." There's even some truth to that. At the bare minimum, you should have a website and a stack of business cards, and yeah, you'll have to pay for those.

When it comes to calling people's attention to your wonderful freelance writing business, however, you don't have to have a marketing budget like a Fortune 500 company. All you need is a little creativity and a lot of nerve.

Here are some ideas that have helped me.

1. Leave Business Cards Everywhere

Since business cards are pretty cheap, I've gotten into the habit of leaving a few wherever I go. I even stick one into the envelope when I pay a bill.

My best business card strategy, however, was diabolically simple. I went to the business section of the library and slipped one of my cards into every book. I especially focused on topics like "how to write a resume" or "how to write a business letter." Believe it or not, I've netted some business this way.

2. Take Advantage of Social Media

No, I'm not your mom. I'm not going to lecture you on why you should cozy up with Twitter, Facebook, LinkedIn, Google+, etc. My only two comments are that 1) They're free; and 2) Thousands of people use them. 'Nuff said.

My Morning Routine: I Can't Sit Down to Write Unless...

When I'm on the road, I can write almost anywhere. Curled up in an airport watching the snow and ice cover my plane. Squeezed into a sold-out theater waiting for the show to start. Even in the middle of a Las Vegas bar with a pen in one hand, a legal pad in the other, and a yard-long margarita sitting on the table.

At home, though, I have a series of little rituals that never fail to get me into the writing mood.

Take Meds

I've mentioned in other posts that I'm living with bipolar disorder. Some people are able to accomplish this feat without pharmaceutical assistance. I'm not one of them. Taking my prescribed medications allows me to function better as both a writer and as a human being.

Shower/Dress

During my first three months or so as a full-time freelancer, I reveled in the luxury of being able to work in a night shirt and a robe. Then the grunge look lost its novelty. I found that the more professional I looked, the more professional I sounded. Besides, when I look halfway presentable, I don't have to worry about scaring the nice UPS guy when he brings my Amazon orders to my door.

Attend to Cats

This involves giving them food and water, cleaning out their litter boxes (ick), and showering them with all the love and attention they're willing to tolerate. I've learned that the more I love on them first thing in the morning, the less likely they are to jump up on my desk and demand attention when I'm trying to get a piece in under deadline.

Breakfast

Breakfast is a protein bar and a cup of milk. I usually eat while I'm sorting email, which helps take my mind off the fact that protein bars taste disgusting.

Scent

I pick a candle or a stick of incense that matches my mood. Then I settle in for a productive day of work.

You'll notice I don't say anything in this blog about scheduling my day. That's because I've completed that task the night before. When I sit down at my desk, I know exactly what needs to be done and which project I'm going to reach for first. And so, my work day begins.

What rituals help you get your day off to a good start?

My Favorite Freelance Writing Posts

Isn't it a shame that when you write a blog some of your best posts slip away into obscurity. (Then, of course, there are the posts that truly should slip away into obscurity, but that's a different story.)

Anyway, this week I was feeling a little nostalgic, and maybe a little lazy as well, and decided to rerun some of my favorite posts from the last year or so. If you missed the originals, I hope you'll find something amusing or something informative in these selections.

1. 25 Strategies for Smashing Through Writer's Block. No, I'm not going to take the time to argue about whether there is any such thing as writer's block. Whatever we want to call it, most of us have had times when we're simply stuck, and these tips can help.

2. Freelance Writers: 7 Tips for Caring for Your Hands, Wrists, and Arms. We may not be professional athletes, but we still rely on our bodies to make a living. If you aren't already, start treating those hands with kid gloves.

3. Dear Debra - A Letter to My Sixteen Year Old Self. My personal favorite blog posts. I just wish someone really had been around when I was 16 to give me that advice!

5 Things Stephen King's "Misery" Taught Me about Writing

Stephen King's book On Writing has helped a generation of writers find ways to express their ideas. I loved it, and it's always one of the first books I recommend to newbies.

I have to confess, though, that I learned even more about writing from another book of King's. A novel. Misery.

For those unfamiliar with the plot, it's about a writer, Paul Sheldon, and his biggest fan. Paul's historical romance series about an empty-headed character named Misery has made him a fortune but shredded his self-respect.

Finally, in self-defense, Paul decides he must kill Misery. She will die in childbirth. Unfortunately for him, just as Paul's final Misery novel is released, Paul is involved in a horrible car accident in middle-of-nowhere Colorado.

Annie Wilkes, the nurse who saves his life and brings him to her home to heal just happens to be his number one fan who is so looking forward to reading the new Misery book. She just loves Misery.

And when she finds out that Paul has murdered her favorite character, her vengeance is swift and brutal. She buys an old, manual typewriter, slams the still-critically-injured Paul in front of it, and orders him to write Misery back to life.

Or else.

Here's what I learned from this nail-biter of a book.

1. You can write under any circumstances. Paul writes with two shattered legs and while he is under the addictive influence of pain killers. He writes when he's scared, thirsty, hungry, tired. He even writes after certain parts of his anatomy have been removed during Annie's rages. And I was complaining the other day about having to write with a migraine? Wow.

Where to Find Debra Stang, Freelance Writer, Online

Sometimes when you're online a lot, you can become so well camouflaged that the people who want to find you can't do so. In case any of you have been looking for me and would like to connect on other sites, here are some of the places where I enjoy hanging out.

1. Twitter

(@DebraLStang) - I don't always get to Tweet as frequently as I want to, but Twitter is a great place to browse to see trending topics. Whether or not you choose to follow me, I highly recommend it.

2. Facebook

Personal Page - This one gets updated occasionally, as I remember it.

Business Page - My business page is updated almost daily. Lots of links and recommendations from me and my readers--give it a try.

3. LinkedIn

Profile - I'm here on and off, but I'm always glad to connect with new people and networks!

4. My Professional Website

Debra L. Stang, Kansas City Freelance Writer - This is the best place to reach me if you have a question for me or if you'd like me to take on a writing or editing job for you.

5. My Amazon Associates Bookstore

Debra Stang, Writer and Editor - I sell some of my own books here, but most of the titles listed are books that have helped me grow as a businesswoman and a writer. I've also added some of my favorite novels and movies, just for fun.

6. Alliance of Hope for Suicide Survivors

Blog - Alliance of Hope is a wonderful organization for people who have lost a loved one to suicide. I've been the editor of their blog for more than a year and a half.  

7. Web Answers

Answered questions - This is a quirky site, mostly just for fun.

Coming Soon...I'm going to revamp and relaunch my Amazon Author Page. Stay tuned for details.